tataysm

step 8. THE EXPERIENCE OF THE SPIRIT

2006-03-02T23:34:00.000-08:00

It is an inevitable reality perhaps that either those who claim themselves atheists or at least Gnostics, everyone would have the experience the so called hard-to-fathom reality in life. This is the experience which Rudolf Otto would say “the wholly incomprehensible character of the eternal creative power which can yet stir the mind to its depths, fascinate and over brim the heart.” This is the so called ‘the experience of the Spirit.’
For twenty seven years of existence in this beautiful planet, there would have been undeniable yet hard to explain moments of awesomeness. Hence, must have to consign into silence and be kept in the heart for the mind would neither have the idea nor have to grasp it.
In order not to leave the idea abstract, I must have to cite some highlights of this experience. I would like to recall the spiritual-shining-moment I experience during college. I love to reminisce my college days because this was the time of self discoveries which led me into the realm self awareness. Starting first year in academics, that means, two years of stay in the seminary because I underwent pre-college program. I started to establish a habit of spending an hour in solitude during the night. What I usually did was just simply sitting in front of the Blessed Sacrament in the chapel with the stillness of the heart. There I started to concentrate myself begging the Lord to be with me and talk to me. Indeed, it was a beautiful and consoling habit.
Because of this habit, I could say that my love to the Holy Eucharist would intensely grow and my respect to the Blessed Sacrament would be deeper. Many times during Eucharistic celebration I found myself in the experience filled with awe. The words during Eucharistic prayer were very powerful to me. I could even find myself crying and deeply touched. In a way, there was a sense of awe developed within me.
Today I realize that it was the Holy Spirit who led me to go into the experience of solitude. It was the initiative of the Spirit to stir my inmost being to realize that he has something to do for me. In a way, I need the presence of the Spirit to pray to the Father. I need the inspiration of the Spirit to know how to pray as I ought. I need the gift of the Spirit to pray in a way that surpasses my understanding, but exposes the love of my heart.
I realize then that the human condition is one of weakness- and nowhere is this more apparent than in my prayers. Those who have attempted prayer for any period of time know from experience and can testify how weak our prayers are, how easily we are distracted, how heavy our hearts and words are on some days. Hence, it is clear that one needs a power beyond his own to pray with ease, with joy, with endurance. He needs an ability beyond his own to truly offer words of fitting praise to God. He needs strength beyond his own to pray with power in his intercession. He needs faith beyond his own to pray for healing for those he loves. He needs the joy of the Spirit to lift his heart when it is heavy. He needs to pray for the Holy Spirit to be ever more present in his life, so that he may pray with the power of the Spirit.
It is only in the spirit that one is able to pray to God as his father. It is in the spirit that he is able to pray as Jesus prayed.

STEP 10 CONSTANT STRIVING TO BECOME PERFECT LOVER

2006-03-02T22:30:00.000-08:00

If someone wishes to know how peaceful and orderly I am interiorly one should first wish to visit and see my room. The old proverb which says; ”Show me your room and I will tell you who you are,” somehow captures this idea. The things inside my room mirrored the inner state of my soul. If I am disturb for instance, my books, clothes, shoes and etc. confess the inner trouble which I have. That is why when this thing happens; I should have to reconcile myself to be free and at peace as early as I can because I hate watching my things in tangles. I love to see things in its proper place and order, and if possible everything must be clean. This attitude tells me that I value cleanliness and orderliness. Thus, I am so anxious when somebody destroys its order and show dirty implications. Hence, to love order, cleanliness, and harmony is indeed a great gift from God because not everybody values it. However, this gift sometimes becomes the cause of my own damnation this sense of order which I valued so much sometimes blind the love I have in Christ.
I would like to share one concrete experience which would remind to be careful with regard this attitude. In my sub-community there is an existing culture which is quite unpleasant to my senses, that is, not everybody washes their dishes after using them. When I happened to enter the kitchenette as I am not used to, I was quite disgusted with what I saw. The dishes and utensils were tangling each other unwashed. It was my vacant afternoon yet I have set already the things were supposed to do regardless dishwashing. Nevertheless, my altruistic sense would challenge me. Hence, I abandoned my original plan and do otherwise to save the kitchenette.
I consumed three hours by just cleaning and arranging everything. When job had done, there was this feeling of freedom. Then, I relaxed for a quite moment while skimming the news papers. Somebody arrived to drink water. He used the cutest glass then. After using it he left it unwashed before my eyes. I felt insulted at that moment. I couldn’t hold my temper. I got the glass and broke it before the hearing of everybody in the building. I wanted him to be awakened from his insensitivity.
When I come to my senses, I regretted what I did. I know it was unbecoming. Though I performed noble work such as dishwashing but it was not out charity. I did it not because of love but because of my own conviction and standard. Although doing wild action alarmed the sub-community otherwise everything should be broken but I know what I did was contrary to what I believe that Jesus loves and I love him too. To love him is to show and offer humble service to others. I even repeat this line again and again every time I give recollection. But I myself have oftentimes failed to do. Yes, I am faithful doing manualia that I even clean the other areas but many times I did them with lesser amount of charity and therefore lack of meaning. Lord, when should be my love to others be perfected? I know I am hurt when I fall to this weakness, but when my love becomes authentic? I know that only in this way I can express my love for you in return but oftentimes I fail to do it with solid faith and love. Help me Jesus for I am weak and vulnerable.

STEP 9. YES LORD I AM YOURS

2006-03-02T22:27:00.000-08:00

Many times I could attest that I am truly blest. I have grown up in the family which can be considered as pious and very religious one. Even in my childhood my soul was already nourished with the word of God in the scripture imparted to me by my saintly father. At evening he used to read the biblical characters which greatly fascinated my hearing. I encountered Jesus through the mouth of my late father.
Fortunately, I would maintain this acquaintance with Jesus when I became a lay minister. So much so when I entered seminary where I encounter Jesus vis-à-vis in the Eucharist everyday. However, there were still moments of confusions and even doubts. I would ask what if I did not grow in such a kind of family; do I have the chance to encounter Jesus? I didn’t know. Thus, through the aid of reflection, I realize that God really willed to reveal himself to those whom He wanted to through the Spirit. His revelation and call is oftentimes complex. He revealed Himself in different ways and circumstances. Sometimes in very ordinary routine of life, while others are very amazing and mysterious. Zaccheus for instance climbed at the tree longing to see Jesus from afar but Jesus summoned him to come down just below where he was. And so he was greatly amazed. Nathaniel was dumped-founded when Jesus told him that he saw him under the fig tree. Jesus called his first four disciples while they were doing their routinely livelihood which is fishing. Jesus ordered Levi to follow him while passing on the road.
Those events mentioned above manifest the complexity of God’s revelation or call to each one of us. in my case, it is just another kind of this complexity of God’s encounter.
After many years of encountering with Jesus, there was some kind of shift on perspective. The way how I first encounter him is not a kind of debate or proof that which is my orientation and knowledge about Jesus, rather, a question on how deep and intimate this relationship. How much I grown up in faith? Does Jesus bring me fullness of life?
Indeed, the seed that implanted by my father has grown up and now gradually yielding its fruits. Indeed, I know now Jesus not just from the story but in the experience. Now I know how much I love him.
One of the very touching gospel passages which always renew my commitment to my vocation whenever I am in the state of crisis is the passage where Jesus asked Simon Peter when all of his followers left him. “And you Simon Peter, would you also leave me?” That question becomes personalized in me. This is no longer the question to Peter but to me. “Fortunato, would you also leave me just because of mere crisis you felt?” and I said, Lord, to whom should I go? You have word of everlasting life. Yes Lord, I want to become your servant because I love you. Your love is more than anything that I desire in this world.

step 7. CONSCIOUSNESS EXAMEN DEVELOPS BEAUTIFUL CONSCIENCE

2006-03-02T22:20:00.000-08:00

When I was in college, I’ve got this thought-provoking story from Albert Camus, an existentialist-modern philosopher entitled “THE FALL.” It tells the story of a successful Paris Lawyer, Jean Baptiste Clamence. He is above reproach in his professional life. He has never accepted a bribe or any immoral act to a shady deal. He takes up the cause of the poor and defenseless free of charge. He does small acts of kindness, such as helping a blind person across the street, at every opportunity. He is a model citizen-responsible, virtuous and respected.
He believes he is sincere. Yet within him there is immense pride and satisfaction in his own excellence. He owes nothing to anybody, but many people are indebted to him. He looks upon himself as a kind of moral superman.
Then late one evening something happens that cases the music to stop and the lights to go out of his life. as he crosses a bridge he passes a young woman. A few moments later he hears a splash, as of someone falling into the water, and cry for a help. He hears the cry several times but he does nothing. He goes away slowly trembling from cold and shock, and tells nobody about what happened.
But the incident had a terrible effect on him. It shattered his illusion of his own virtue and goodness. Why he had not gone to the rescue of the drowning girl? Suddenly he begins to see himself as he really is- a phony, a play actor, a man bursting with vanity, pride, anger, lust and shrewd selfishness. Unable to take what he discovers about himself he closes his office and throws himself into a world of alcohol and drugs. He ends up frequenting bars where he tries to tell his story to anyone who will give him an ear. But it is all hopeless because in his world there is no redemption, no way out. and that is how the story ends.
I share and reiterate this story because as youngsters nowadays would say “I can relate it.” in every place I go and the community I belong and share my life, several times I heard this common and flattery complements “buotan man ka Ting.” But as I realize, many times this complement blinds me also. I who think am giving my service ‘for free’ can often be receiving and rich but distinctive reward in the adulation I give to myself and in the admiration that I imagine I get from others. What is advantage in my part than that of the lawyer is that I am in the realm of formation. There is seminary program and spiritual director may be able to check and correct and guide me into a right track. Essentially there is forgiveness available and that recovery is possible. One can find one’s true self even after a disastrous fall, or maybe precisely through the fall itself. The fall- the breakdown of a relationship or a serious personal sin may be exactly what I need to open my eyes to my true self. But why to wait that? Anyway consciousness examen is there.
Often my traditional kind of prayer is geared to asking God to help me to achieve the objects of my pride. I tell god what I want to boost my power, prestige and possessions and I feel betrayed by him if I do not get what I want. In a humble prayer, however, I ask for nothing. I just be in God’s presence. But it is impossible to just be silence and continue in my shrewd selfishness. I cannot continue to be silent and to be basically and interiorly dishonest. I must freed myself from this slavery and let my conscience grow bigger and sensitive.
Sometimes I can identify myself with the lawyer in Camus’ story. No matter how I appear to others, deep down I know that I am not a person that I should be. Oftentimes I get angry to the people who cannot level my ideals and self discipline. I all have had my falls and failures. However, the good news is that I am not forever prisoners of my past and tendencies. I am still loved by God and this love is unconditional. Sometimes God allows a fall to help me to see my self as I truly am. God’s love, mercy, and forgiveness are available to me if I am open to receive them. Hence thru constant practice of consciousness examen helps me to first recognize my selfishness and then to accept the great joy of being forgiven. I am a sinner but a forgiven and loved sinner. It helps me to leave self and everything behind to really follow Jesus ‘to become fisher of men.’

reflection

2006-02-09T22:26:00.000-08:00

Step 1. KNOW THY SELF

When I was in college, the most renowned dictum I ever heard was that “KNOW THY SELF” quoted from the great philosopher of all the times, Socrates. At first it appeared to me very ordinarily. Only later did I savor the depths of its wisdom. It is indeed very significant and basic rule in human existence, to know first one self before the other sensible things around.
Knowing oneself, however, is truly an arduous and perhaps annoying endeavor. It is easier to understand the philosophy of Neitzsche than to oneself. One needs thorough reflection, discernment, meditation and even prayer in order to know what is really inside. The American Throreau once said, “I went into the woods to confront the essential facts of life, lest when I come to die I should discover that I had not lived.” Therefore without reflection, discernment, meditation and prayer one cannot hope to live worthwhile life even on human level, much less on a Christian life.
Furthermore, it is very vital to do these things, to find the place, where one can be present to his true self. This maybe a physical place that is away from others. It may be an inner space that one sets aside even in the midst of a noisy ambiance and hectic schedules. Harder than finding the place is finding the courage to enter into it. Inside it, one becomes still and listening to his heart, his fears and failures, his hopes and aspirations.
The desert experience of Israelites as an application from the class of revelation relates to my own journey of consciousness examen. Like the Israelites in the desert, the one who meditates moves forward with a purpose, with a sense of discovery, a sense of awakening, with one’s eyes on the horizon. God put Israel to the test in the desert. Yet He promised that He would lead them to a land of freedom and plenty. But the Israelites wavered back and forth between trusting God’s promise and doubting it. In the course of formation, I, too, like the Israelites often have questions and doubts. What is consciousness examen doing for me? Where is it leading me? is it really worth all the effort? I, too, like the Israelites, am tempted to go back to the land of Egypt and live in slavery rather than strike out for the Promised Land.
Sometime in my consciousness examen journey, God may seem absent. The periods of doing it feel empty and I raise doubts about the faithful presence of God. but temptations are the basic form of testing in the desert experience and an inevitable part of the human condition. However, temptations faced in the desert or in the seminary term solitude reveal who am I as person. In solitude, I recognize within myself the presence of evil and the presence of good, both my will to serve God and my reluctance to do so. These forces are locked in perpetual battle. The experience of temptation makes me realize that I cannot go forward without God’s help, that I must acknowledge my complete dependence on Him. So I must totally surrender my whole being to Him because only in this way I am truly free.

Step 2. THAT IS WHAT WE ARE MADE OF.

The step two reading from Fr. Gallgher is another thought-provoking discovery of oneself. It is obviously extended into the societal sphere through the armor of consciousness examen. It is not just talking about faith, upon how someone touches and heals the wounded soul of brethren. Is also talking about the existing culture of a subtle propaganda in the society today to which most of us are blinded, and even influenced by it. I found it very interesting because it is rich of lessons especially in understanding our own culture nowadays. It is really true that in the advent of imperialism, the dignity of a person is somehow reduced to a commodity. In a way, your dignity depends on how much possession you acquire and the nature of job you have.
Unfortunately, most of us are not truly aware of this phenomenon. We almost forget that the dignity of a person is rooted in the image and likeness of the creator and neither in the material things he acquired nor in the nature of his job. In this regard consciousness examen is therefore highly recommended. In following Christ, however, faith is the minimum demand. Yet as we see the whole life of Jesus, we are called to go beyond it on extending our heads, hearts, and hands for our brothers and sisters.
I was in the state of “BULLS-EYE” or guilt upon reading the “Justice Note-A Personal History” which states that “I could give a vague assent to all this but the stress on systems and structures was alien to me. my spirituality at that time was too personalist to feel at home with this reading of reality.” This statement disturbed me because this is the kind of spirituality I have today. I am much at home as it were in my personal relationship with God. I am confident and feel secure just the way I present myself to God. When I have problem, I am confident that the Lord would surely be there to rescue me. At one point, it is quite good and noble to have such kind of relation with God. this is what we are trying to establish while in the formation. I am always feeling secure. However, during the period of solitude I discover that I gradually lost my sense of communion towards others especially to my brother seminarians. in some aspect, I am leading the way of indifference. Thanks to St. Ignatius’ spirituality through consciousness examine I am being enlightened. Socrates is correct in saying that “Unexamined life is not worth living.” I started questioning then this kind of relationship I have now with God. I ask why I reached this juncture of indifference and personalist spirituality.
And so, it is very important indeed to continue the practice of examining oneself because only in this way can we know ourselves very well. Only the tamed self can render genuine and authentic service to others. How can we understand the society when we don’t understand first ourselves?

Step 3. DREAM THAT LEADS TO FAITH

There are a lot of things that I do without thinking. Breathing, which is vital for me, comes naturally to me. Whether awake or asleep, I continue to breathe. I tie my shoelaces, brush my teeth, or comb my hair out of habit. I no longer need to think; my fingers and hands move spontaneously.
But there are other things, which I am fully conscious of. My mind is thinking while I do them. I choose to act because of reason important to me. in a way, they are part of my dreams and hopes in life. as a seminarian, I have a lot of dreams, hopes, and ideals for my future ministry and for the church. At the different moments during the day, I often find myself thinking about the future, planning my actions, and hoping for the best. Especially now that I am in the final stage of seminary formation, I am anxious about what I shall do after this. I try to make plans and hope that things will turn out well.
When I look at the many persons in the parish and events in my life, I cannot but think and dream. If something turns out wrong, I wish and hope that similar events will no longer happen in the future. If something goes right, I look ahead to even better and more wonderful things. Dreaming and planning are parts of my growing up. They are enjoyable moments in my life. they show that fantasy is a value present in my heart: I can let my imagination run wild for the fun of it, or with the purpose of bringing out as many ideas as possible. They also show that I have an inner power to look beyond, beyond the monotony and routine of my daily life, beyond pain and suffering, beyond my failures and weaknesses. This is what I often call the “idealism.” There are many things beyond my control. Yet, by dreaming and planning for better times, I show that I have not lost hope. And even when I succeed in accomplishing something, I am never contented. I continue to wish and hope for enough strength to do them better.
All these show the presence of another value in me, although still in its initial stages. This is what I may call “vision” or “Human Faith.” In many ways, the value of faith by other means is gradually developing in me, and becoming more and more important to me.
Through my dreaming and hoping, I am able to draw up a vision of my own life and of the world around me. I can say; “This is how I want my life to become, this is the world that I want to live in!” Although my vision is still up in the clouds of the future, I am bound to strive and work hard to attain it. However, I may consider the value of faith as more fully developed in me, when I feel the need to include within my vision of life Someone far greater than any human beings. When I give Him the central place in my vision of life, and when I commit myself to Him, then I can consider myself as a man of faith.
Human faith, on the other hand, as far as I experienced it, is present in every man and woman. Because human person is made of body and spirit or, in philosophical terms, the embodied spirit, everyone possesses an inner power that allows him or her to go beyond, or transcend, the resources and possibilities of the human body and of this world. everyone feels the desire and need to reach out to Someone divine and transcendent, far greater than any human being.
Faith gives a person the reason to move forward and the strength to keep going. Life is full of problems and difficulties most of which stem from human weakness. Without a vision in life, a person easily loses direction. He is like a mountain climber who no longer sees the peak because of thick fog and mist. In the midst of this confusion the person eventually loses hope, gives up, and gives in to pleasures of lesser value.
Today’s world is full of noise and sound. If I am to grow into mature man, I need therefore adequate moments of silence, reflection, and prayer. Let these be precious moments to get in touch with myself and be able to understand what I believe in.
Step. 4. MY FATHER GUARDIAN

The only little thing I remember from our class in general psychology during college is when our professor had emphatically said that “the first five years of a child is very crucial stage in his or her development. Therefore, any threatening form of discipline should be avoided.” ‘Why sir? I courageously asked at last.’ “Because the memory of the child in this stage is very retentive, our professor continued. It may cause him or her trauma when he or she grows.”
As I tried to trace back the different issues in my life, particularly the negative ones, I couldn’t believe that they are rooted in my early childhood. One particular issue I struggled to trace is that, ‘I cannot see or look at directly to the eyes of those who are older than me at least twenty years or above especially when we converse with each other.’ Why is this so? I remember when I was more or less six years old, when our place was surrounded by the military men. It was about the end of martial law. One of the huge-bodied soldiers with a distorted face approached me. I looked at him intently wondering why he had such horrible face when he suddenly grabbed my neck saying angrily: “tutok-tutok man ka, lugiton ko nang imong mga mata karon!” Then he got his bayonet-knife pointing it to my eyes. Thanks be to God my elder sister would arrive and plead for me. I was overwhelmed by fear at that time. In fact, my body was chilling. However, it was added when my elder brother had drunk, when he uttered similar words to me with that of the army. From that time on, I always escape my sight to the eyes of those I talked to.
Similar to this experience is the historicity of my spirituality. Obviously, my parents in one way or the other have injected me some kind of the image of God in my mind unconsciously. What was being said during my childhood somehow affected the system of my being. Hence, when vital experiences coincide to this image of God, it developed a kind of relationship which unconsciously expressed in my behavior and bearings even in my world view.
I do believe that in our spiritual journey, every one of us has his own image of God. Hence, God has many images depending on our own personal experiences and spiritual background. Whatever the dominant image has appeared to a person, more or less reflects on his or her attitudes and in dealing the human relationships.
What is then my personal image of God as he appears in my spiritual journey? If I would have to portray him, I could say he is a vigilant guardian and loving father at the same time. In meditation, I always found myself like a kid before God. Like a kid I almost knew nothing that I am truly dependent to him. I need him to guide me. Just like a father also, he is always there to guard me, provide me and discipline me. However, he sometimes teas me, wanted me to cry. Hence, when thing went wrong he let me feel that it was just a joke. He is there to comfort me and console me. I can just imagine a kid in the presence of his father. Such is my God. When I notice this relationship between me and my God through prayers and meditation, I cannot but be at peace with my self and to others. Ang gaan ng feeling pag si Lord ang kapiling.

Step 5. THE VOICE THAT CALLS WITHIN.

After second year high school, I was forced to cease my studies for a reason that I got ill. I wasn’t able to enroll on June because of malaria. When I got well, I would help my father in the farm. Indeed, he trained me how to be a farmer and live the life as a farmer, of course, in Philippine setting. I enjoyed my life in the company of farmers. I didn’t even mind of going back in school again. Times slipped away too fast that I couldn’t imagine it was four years already have passed.
One day while tending my carabao, what a strange question born in my poor mind; is this really the kind of life should I live forever? Actually, I started getting bored and tired of farming since almost everything was entrusted to me. And besides, I longed for something greater than farming. What it would be, I didn’t know.
Because of that inner crisis, I decided to go back in school and continue my studies. I was left behind by my batch mates since they were in second year college at that time. Anyway nothing would hinder me, so I continue my studies. Indeed, I became a political figure and conservative leader in our campus at that time. I hold many offices and became famous at least with those who witness my leadership. That was the time bishop Amantillo now then bishop emeritus to Tandag diocese knew me.
March of the jubilee year 2000, our graduation then was approaching. There was an unexplainable inner experience which until today I always reminisces and ponders. Five consecutive dawns I woke up with teary eyes. I didn’t know why but I just feel very empty. I didn’t understand. There was this gnawing feeling inside my heart.
Only later I realize that I wanted to become a monk. I started then dreaming of a monastic life. A life of complete solitude with and in the Lord. I remember when I was a kid, I was a loner. I was far from friends for many reasons. One was due to critical situation of our place. Second, our former house was isolated from the neighboring houses. Third, my parents were simply over protective. So, even my early days I used to be alone. This background awoke my being to live in complete solitude. I love to be alone. Thus, I was attracted to a monastic life. This was the hunger of my heart. I didn’t know why, but I just simply love this kind of life.
However, the dilemma in my mind was that I love also pastoral life. My mean argument was that ‘what is the use of my life if I don’t share it to others through my presence in service’. Anyway the same God whom I long to serve and please. And so I tried to enter the diocesan seminary. Thanks God I was accepted.
Today when I look back that certain inner experience, I would say that it was really the voice of God communicating me, asking me to be his worker in his vineyard. Seminary life is somehow the fulfillment of this invitation. I am simply happy here albeit I experience crisis sometimes but it couldn’t outweigh the inner dynamism I always feel inside. That inner experience I experienced six years ago was somehow the transfiguration of myself. Although since I was a kid I was already attracted priesthood but it was the peak of my calling. How good it was that I have that experience because it really gave sustenance in my vocation. I really cherish that experience because every time I remember it, it somehow recharges my desire, my dream, and my vocation. As Blasé Pascal had said that ‘a heart has its reason which reason itself cannot understand.’ This is my life also, no matter what the world has to offer but I chose otherwise what it considers foolish.

Step 6. EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL IN THE EYES OF FAITH

In every stage of human life there should be a corresponding development brought of it, otherwise life is static. As I grow mature, one of the beautiful things I observe within myself is the growing sense of appreciation. Needless to say that to elaborate further this phenomenon needs a comparison before this development until the present condition. A comparison between my usual attitudes toward sensible things around the universe to the change I now experience.
Considering my past bearings toward things particularly in nature I consider myself as an indifferent. I couldn’t recognize the beauty of it. I couldn’t appreciate the beauty of the flowers planted by my mother outside the house. Everything seemed insignificant. There was no aesthetic view at all. The orchids no matter how captivating they were seemed nothing.
Today, when I see blooming flowers my immediate reaction is that; wow, what a beautiful flowers! I perceive everything wonderful and meaningful. Everything is indeed created for a purpose and will serve its purpose.
If a person has a contemplating gaze towards the created objects of the world, he would certainly recognize the creative and powerful hand of the great artist. This is the humbling experience a person can do if he recognizes through the grandeur and beauty of the creation the One who creates everything he perceives. However, no one can do such recognition without a deeper relationship to the One who creates everything through prayer and meditation. Saint Thomas would start his arguments from the sensible objects to prove God’s existence because he reflected so much about everything he perceived. Looking at things beyond the eyes can see is very powerful to recognize Gods presence. It is indeed notable that nature is the first message of the love of God to humanity. However, people do not recognize it, instead, they abuse it.
Nature would really communicate us but we don’t understand it. We do not know its language because we do not listen and recognize our intimacy with it. Only those who really ponder these things would find that everything is indeed has its relationship to our existence. Man and nature has its intimate relationship.
I doubt that St. Thomas had this deeper sense of wonder to the things he perceived because he spent much of the time in reflection, in solitude, meditation, and prayer. He lived the life of transcendence. He prayed what he experienced.
Although I could say that man is by nature gifted with the sense of wonder but I would argue that it is different when it is rooted in prayerful reflection and meditation. The more a person lives in transcendence the more he acknowledges and recognizes the presence of God in the things he sees.
This is true also at least in my experience. I notice that the more ardent my prayer was, the more meaningful the things and experiences were. Therefore, sense of wonder develops especially in spiritual sphere of human life. Things, experiences, relationships, would pass and gone meaningless if the person involve in them has put no value on them. Eventually, he even forgets the One who provides these things, experiences, and relationships to him. Hence, to sustain the sense of appreciation and wonder one needs to sustain and strengthen his spiritual life for only in this way man can really put meaning on his own existence with the heart full of gratitude to the One provides everything.